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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

15.06.2025 06:54

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By taking turns talking.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

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By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

You hold the door open for a lady and she stops in her tracks and screams at you, ‘Don’t hold the door for me! I’ll get it myself!’ What are your feelings or immediate reaction?

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.